Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I wish I only lived at night.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
