The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
