Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
