He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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