I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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