He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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