i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
