? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
