Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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