Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
