the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
