If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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