I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
