I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
