so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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