talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize