found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
