I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
