He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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