so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
