just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
and you said cock pushups were impossible
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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