oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
