ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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