I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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