I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We're too hungover to prance.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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