Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
