Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
sex in a hospital.. check
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
