and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
