Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
