See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
All the doctor said was why
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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