Will you blow on my dice?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
