Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
