He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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