You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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