what day is it and did you see me today?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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