i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
