maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
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