Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
