this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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