No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
