when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
