On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
