I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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