the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
