Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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