I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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