I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
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