it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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