just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You're like the curious george of whores
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
