Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
