In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
