I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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