I met the friendliest cop last night
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize