I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
