If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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