you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
