I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
