I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
