it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
