He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
