bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
