Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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