Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
