Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
