Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
